April 23, 2015 I took Jase for a visitation with his bio mom yesterday. Leaving him there goes against my every instinct. There are two desires constantly waging war within me. On one side – wanting his bio family to drop out of the picture. Because if they get him back, I have no control. I can’t shelter, I can’t…
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Foster Care Tired
April 21, 2014 It’s all coming to a head today. I am exhausted, emotional, and irrational. Nathan and I are bickering more than usual. It’s getting hard to think past the tired. I am humbly reminded of what exhaustion reveals; my true nature. I’m selfish and sinful, out of control and seeking accolades for my sacrifice. What kind of servant…
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Big Doubts Before Foster Care
April 8, 2014 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.” I just downed one cup of coffee but feel like I need three more. My emotions are frazzled and tears threaten all over again. One minute I’m excited about our decision to foster, and the…
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Our First Foster Child
April 15, 2014 We welcomed our first foster child yesterday. A darling baby boy named Jase straight from the hospital. Several people came to visit. It’s all so surreal, and completely normal at the same time. Jesus, thank you for this sweet life you created. He is marvelous. Redeem his life, Lord. Wherever he goes may your relentless love follow….
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The Mess of Marriage
August 13, 2017 Nate and I are increasingly cross with each other lately. The stress is getting to us. Lord, show me my part. I need your grace. He has enough tension with the outside world, he doesn’t need it with me as well. Help us love one another, Lord. Then he comes on the porch and smiles that dimpled…
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The Downcast Soul
July 22, 2017 We are at Tanya’s – which is a gift. She is a home for my heart. She and Nate took the kids to the pool after supper. I stayed behind and took a long bath and laid myself across her bed just like I used to. All the emotions bubbled right up and out of my eyes. …
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