You might have noticed I changed the picture on the blog sidebar.
It used to look like this:
Gosh that’s a really cute picture of me. Which is exactly why I changed it. I had that picture taken not long after I started the blog in 2014. I was reading a book about how to be a “successful” blogger, and one of the recommendations was a professionally taken photograph. So I saved some money and borrowed a friend’s super cute necklace and booked myself a photo shoot.
I felt absolutely bizarre the entire time.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against cute photos or professional photographers. By all means, MAKE ME LOOK GOOD whenever possible.
The problem I have with that picture is that it doesn’t represent the real me. It’s not that I have my hair fixed or have on clothes that are in style, although please know that is a deviation from the norm. I could have a photo with those things included and be happy to throw it up on the sidebar.
But when I look at that particular picture, I feel like I was attempting to be something I’m not. I was giving off an air that in actuality I don’t possess. Maybe it’s confidence, or put-togetherness….I can’t even put my finger on it exactly. I just know the girl I see there is not who I am.
And I got tired of looking at her every time I opened this blog. She was fake-ish. Which is the exact opposite of what I want my writing to be about.
So a new picture it is. One that reflects a little more of my heart I think. Although please don’t get the impression I spend my days gently embracing orphans in Haiti. I did that once. For one week. But it was as close to the image I WANT to be true of me as anything could ever be.
Now if only I could as easily project the real me all the time to all the people. Switching digital photos is WAY easier, amen? Sadly, I care way too much about what people think and act like someone I’m not way too much of the time.
Lord, help me.
Help me change the picture I show the world. A little less Put Together, a little more Saved Sinner. A little less Eager to Please Them, a lot more Eager to Please You.
That would be such a pretty picture.
Praying you have the guts to remove any fake in your life. Pray that I have the guts to remove it in mine.
PS – Down to 20 minutes.