Beth Lawrence

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in Calling· Haiti· Journal· Motherhood

The Source of Joy

July 14, 2016

I have been questioning how I can be satisfied and happy while in another country, miles and hours from my children. Always there is this tension of whether I should be okay when we are apart. 

I love my children so, and I miss them terribly, but I’m tremendously fulfilled in what I’m doing this week in Haiti! What is it about motherhood that causes mothers to wonder if we are allowed to have joy when we aren’t with our children? As if our ministry should be only to them?

So maybe I shouldn’t question why I have peace and joy even when I’m not mothering. Are my children my source of joy? Are they the ones that supply me with peace? Because if they are, I’ve put an expectation on the role of motherhood that belongs only to my relationship with Christ. 

Those darling children of mine, of course they bring me so much joy. But Christ is the source, the well-spring, and the center of that joy! Therefore I can be at peace wherever He is, and wherever he leads me. 

So then this: My children are my primary work and the fruit of my hardest labor. But they are not my first love or the supplier of my joy. 

Hey Beth, love, train and nurture your children ferociously. Labor to lead them to Jesus. But also, go use the gifts God has given you. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. 

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