I just tucked you in, snug as bug in bed. Your darling face looking up at me with contentment as I kissed your cheek goodnight. It was a good day. But I blinked and now it’s over.
Right now your days are full of Barbie and dress up and more art projects than our fridge can show. You live a pretty swell life and even if you don’t realize it, your childhood so far is hunky dory. But I know how fast time flies and it won’t be long before you’re the Mommy, hiding in the laundry room like I was an hour ago. Before that day comes, there is so much I want you to know. Much more than one letter can hold.
So we’ll start where we are. Where I am today.
I want you to know that being a Mommy is so fulfilling. But it can also be incredibly draining. Some days the demands from little ones will seem like they are more than you can meet. Wrap your mind around this now: YOU CAN’T MEET ALL THEM ALL.
There will always be one child who got less of you that day. There will always be more words than you can listen up. There will always be more questions than you have the capacity to answer. They will always want more of you than you are able to give.
And that is okay.
If you could meet all their needs and wants and wishes and listen to all their chatter and questions and stories, where would the room for God be?
Yes, be attentive. Yes, be present as much as possible. But embrace this truth as soon as possible: You are finite and their needs are infinite. Therefore they can only be fulfilled by a infinite God.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel that I’ve failed at least one of you. I didn’t listen to enough of your words. I didn’t watch enough of Titus’ bike tricks. I didn’t read enough books to the babies. I didn’t give enough kisses. I didn’t say enough yeses. I didn’t offer enough encouragement and I certainly didn’t play enough games.
No matter how hard I try, I am not enough.
But I’m learning, slowly learning, that you might just grow up in spite of it.
I no longer pray that you look back on your childhood to remember a mother who was your everything. I now pray you grow up to know a God who IS your everything.
And I pray when your time comes to be a mother, that you let yourself off the hook of meeting every demand. When they’re all crying and wanting and whining, shut yourself in the laundry room because even though you can’t, God can.
I love you, Baby Girl. You are going to be an excellent mother.